What's happening in our world...

Another week down. Last weekend Kam and I celebrated our Anniversary. We went to a fairly popular restaurant here in Jackson called Ichiban. It is a huge Chinese buffet, and also has a huge sushi bar, which was the main reason for our visit. We had a great time trying the different types of sushi rolls they had at the sushi bar. We also decided to spoil ourselves a little bit and went shopping. I haven't really shopped since before Ellison was born. I did decide to only buy shirts this shopping trip because I am still trying to lose this baby weight. We were able to find some good stuff.
I also had a doctor's appointment this week. Things are going well, and my blood tests have all been coming back good, which is good news. Even the doctor was surprised because we have had a hard time getting my INR (how thick/thin your blood is). My blood has been thin enough so we have been happy with that. I also found out from the doctor's appointment that I have lost approximately 15 pounds since I had the baby so, only 15 more to go!
Work is busy as always. I just finished my last week on the Trauma and medical floors. I like those floors alright, but I have decided these are my least favorite of the rotation. It seems like the patients there are always really banged up and are there forever! No lie, we just had a patient on the trauma floor leave this month who has been there since before Thanksgiving of last year! I am rotating onto the Ortho floor, which is nice because the nurses up there are fun and the treatments are easy!
Kam and I have been busy trying to exercise these past two weeks and get back on our schedules...as it has slipped since we went to Utah. We have been doing pretty well, however the past 3 days of this week have been raining, which has halted the exercise. We have also been busy in the yard, weeding the flower beds and trying to give our house some curb appeal. Kam still needs to mow the lawn.
I decided to include pictures of Ellison and I swimming in Memaw's pool, in the new dress Memaw sent her and some of her enjoying her banana's.

This Monday, as in tomorrow, Kam and I will have been married for 7 years. It's hard to believe we have known each other that long because it feels like I just graduated high school yesterday! So here we are seven years later. We started our married life together by living in Salt Lake, in a small 1bedroom "garden level" (code for basement) apartment with retro 70's decor. I finished my first year at the U of U and found out I was accepted to the OT program while living in that apartment.
We then moved to a 2nd floor 2 bedroom apartment...definitely a step up. I finished OT school, graduating with a bachelors and masters in occupational therapy, and Kam graduated from the U with a degree in history. I worked my first year as an OT at a crazy nursing home and with some crazy co-workers. We bought our first real car and furniture while living in that apartment.
We then ventured out of the bubble we call Utah and moved to Mississippi so Kam could attend law school. We have upgraded again, to a house this time, and have our own little critter we call Ellie. I started my first hospital based job here. Kam has finished his first two years of law school here, and Ellison has accomplished a lot of her firsts here. We have had a lot of "firsts" in the past seven years, which makes me wonder how many more are to come. Here's one for you now, this the first time I have blogged about an anniversary! Happy anniversary Kam!

P.S. Sorry for the downer blog last time, but thanks for all the encouragement! Also, I posted some random pics, hope you enjoy!

I am feeling discouraged today, and I have decided to use the blog as my outlet. I will warn you, I am about to have a pity party, so if you have the desire, you can read on and join in! I have decided to write about what has been going on with me lately. Between a Rock and a Hard Place is where I feel I have landed for the past year of my life. I know things in life seem so trivial to some people, but to those who are experiencing such issues, they are mountains. I have been struggling with multiple "mole hills" but combined, they feel like quite a mountain.

1. My leg. This has been an ongoing issue since Ellison was born. It frustrates me daily, and I am reminded each and everyday of this stupid blood clot. Every time I turn my leg a certain way I am reminded of the DVT by the pain in my leg. Every time I am unable to crawl on the floor to play with the baby because my leg hurts, or when I am unable to hold her because she kicks or stands on my leg and causes pain, I am reminded of the DVT. Every day when I am unable to exercise the way I would like or eat the way I would like, I am reminded of the DVT.

2. Working. I love being an Occupational Therapist. I get such joy from helping others recover from both minor and devastating illnesses. I am grateful I have a good job that allows up to live comfortably, pays the bills and offers good benefits. I have enjoyed getting to know people around the hospital and learning all that I have learned, but I hate leaving the baby at home. Every morning I wake up early to feed her, do my hair, get dressed, eat breakfast and then sneak out the door before she totally wakes up, because when she is awake, all I want to do is be there for her and love on her all day. I hate to think that part of her schedule every day is waving goodbye to mom. I am away from my baby approximately 9-91/2 hours every day. I spend more time at the hospital than I do with her. I spend so much time away from her during the week and then to "work" again on Sunday for 2 hours chasing kids in primary, with my attention diverted away from her, is hard. I told Kam on many occasions that I feel like a full-time OT and a part-time mom. This is a very sensitive subject for me, especially when I see a lot of the girls in my ward staying home with their children, and knowing that a lot of my friends in Utah stay home as well. I look at their lives and think to myself, how lucky they are! Do they comprehend how lucky they are? I wish I had a flexible daily schedule to spend with my child, running the errands that need to be run, participating in play dates and chit chatting with friends. Working is another way I feel "left out" of the loop. I am so jealous of these girls, but at the same time am grateful they have the opportunity to be at home! I am glad they are able to be home with their children...I just wish I could be too! I also have to admit when I get home and want just a moment to myself, I feel guilty because I think Ellison's every waking moment should be spent with me after I get home from work.

3. School. I know this is so necessary in our world today. I am so grateful for my education because (not to sound cliche), but I know it's one of the only things we will take with us when we die. However, this ongoing school cycle is going to make me crazy if it doesn't end soon! In the eight years Kam and I have known each other, one or the other, or both of us have been in school. We have paid so much money in tuition and owe a pretty penny in student loans. I am glad to say that Kam only has one more year left (hallelujah!), but at times this seems like forever! I am so looking forward to the day when Kam is wearing that cap and gown, has a certificate saying he can practice law, and hears word that he has passed the bar. Come that day, I will be turning in my hunter green scrubs for blue jeans and a t-shirt.

4. Medical bills. Perhaps I should have lumped this in with number one, but I frustrated by the amount of money I pay in medical bills. Why do I have insurance? I pay the premium monthly, and then get to pay 20% of whatever after that. Just when we think we have most of them paid, another lingering bill will show up in the mail. Can you believe we got a bill last week for lab work Ellison had done when she was born? There is no reprieve in sight as we still owe the vascular surgeon for the surgery in March and will expect to rack up more when I have my surgery this fall. I will say that even though #2 on my list is a stress, it provides me with the means to pay the medical bills and the insurance to have health care.

5. Housework. I love having a clean house, but because of all the other numbers on my list (with the exception of #4), I am unable to keep it in the order I would like. Ellison does do a great job of making a mess and I really don't mind cleaning up after her, but the additional load of laundry that has come with having her is something I haven't enjoyed. I also have been unable to do the "deep clean" I am used to doing. I used to scrub tubs, toilets and dust weekly, along with the other usual household chores, however, I have gotten out of my routine and found that I am getting the house cleaned well perhaps twice a month! I feel guilty when my house is a mess and think, what could I have done better to keep it clean or clean up the already established mess.

I am grateful to have used this blog as an ear piece to my complaints. I apologize for those who are reading this. I really try hard to stay up beat, but some of these things have got me bogged down for the moment and perhaps it is due to the rough day I had. Thank you to all who have left words of encouragement before, I am grateful to you for that. I hope none of you think ill of me after having read this, but it needed to come out! I promise my other posts will be happy and cheerful! I also want to say that even though all the things I have mentioned above have been bogging me down, my little Ellie, Kam, and family brings things into perspective, and I remind myself I do it all for them. Thanks again to all my fellow bloggers!

I was told that I needed to update my blog, so here I go. Sorry it has been so long, I have finally had a few days off from work and found the motivation to update my blog. We have started out last week by taking Ellison into the doctor because she had conjunctivitis. We had to give her eye drops for a week, which has seemed for the moment to clear up the infection. We took Ellison to the doctor again on Tuesday for her 9 month follow up. He told us her head is growing, but still only in the 5th percentile, he said her length is in the 42nd percentile and she is still small on the weight side, at 16 lbs. and 6 oz. The doctor told us he isn't concerned about her being small because she is eating well, and meeting all her milestones.
Ellison is becoming more and more mobile. She is crawling so fast and so well now, and is even able to crawl up stairs. The other day, Kam made chocolate pudding and left it on the coffee table where Ellison found it and made a big, delicious, chocolaty mess! I have included pictures of the aftermath!
Work has been going well, and we are staying busy as always. I have almost 2 weekends down and only 2 more to go. Since I worked Sunday of last weekend and will be working Saturday of this weekend, I had two days off in a row, yesterday and today. Kam, Ellison and I have been having a great time hanging out. We have been able to do nothing but relax, which has been great for me. Yesterday we went for a walk and then swimming, but I seemed to come home with a sore throat. Today we are hanging out, and I am trying to be my own nurse and heal myself from the cold.
Kam has been staying busy in school and is still going on Tuesday and Thursday nights for class. Other than that, things are still going well and we are having fun watching Ellison become the big girl she is!

Is it June already? It's hard to believe that Ellison will be nine months old this month, which means, only three more months until she is actually a year old...time has sure flown by! This week Ellison seems to have reached a few milestones. She is crawling so well now, and can get from here to there so quickly, which means we have to totally baby proof the house now. Ellison, just like all babies, gets into exactly everything we don't want her getting into, and keeps us on our toes. We have rearranged some furniture to accommodate her change in mobility and keep things safer for her.
Ellison has also figured out how to pull herself up, and does so whenever she gets a stable surface. She wakes us up at night by pulling up in her crib and "talking" to us. She also likes to pull herself up on Memaw's fireplace hearth and the coffee table. She is such a cute girl!
The last "first" Ellison had this week was swimming. We took her into Kam's parents swimming pool. It was so funny because she didn't quite know what to think of the giant "bathtub" she was in. She kept this bewildered look on her face, but did seem to enjoy it as well.
Kam started school again this week. He is taking two classes this summer, pretrial and Ethics. He will also take the Ethics portion of the bar as soon as this class is over. He is gone on Tuesday and Thursday nights, giving Ellison and myself some girl time.
I am still working, just rotating now the the Trauma floor. I have to admit that I hope June flies by as quickly as May did because I am working at least one weekend day every weekend this month. Primary is also keeping us busy as always. We are planning our quarterly activity (which should be a lot of fun), for July and getting the kids ready to sing in Sacrament for Father's Day.