What's happening in our world...

This Monday, as in tomorrow, Kam and I will have been married for 7 years. It's hard to believe we have known each other that long because it feels like I just graduated high school yesterday! So here we are seven years later. We started our married life together by living in Salt Lake, in a small 1bedroom "garden level" (code for basement) apartment with retro 70's decor. I finished my first year at the U of U and found out I was accepted to the OT program while living in that apartment.
We then moved to a 2nd floor 2 bedroom apartment...definitely a step up. I finished OT school, graduating with a bachelors and masters in occupational therapy, and Kam graduated from the U with a degree in history. I worked my first year as an OT at a crazy nursing home and with some crazy co-workers. We bought our first real car and furniture while living in that apartment.
We then ventured out of the bubble we call Utah and moved to Mississippi so Kam could attend law school. We have upgraded again, to a house this time, and have our own little critter we call Ellie. I started my first hospital based job here. Kam has finished his first two years of law school here, and Ellison has accomplished a lot of her firsts here. We have had a lot of "firsts" in the past seven years, which makes me wonder how many more are to come. Here's one for you now, this the first time I have blogged about an anniversary! Happy anniversary Kam!

P.S. Sorry for the downer blog last time, but thanks for all the encouragement! Also, I posted some random pics, hope you enjoy!

I am feeling discouraged today, and I have decided to use the blog as my outlet. I will warn you, I am about to have a pity party, so if you have the desire, you can read on and join in! I have decided to write about what has been going on with me lately. Between a Rock and a Hard Place is where I feel I have landed for the past year of my life. I know things in life seem so trivial to some people, but to those who are experiencing such issues, they are mountains. I have been struggling with multiple "mole hills" but combined, they feel like quite a mountain.

1. My leg. This has been an ongoing issue since Ellison was born. It frustrates me daily, and I am reminded each and everyday of this stupid blood clot. Every time I turn my leg a certain way I am reminded of the DVT by the pain in my leg. Every time I am unable to crawl on the floor to play with the baby because my leg hurts, or when I am unable to hold her because she kicks or stands on my leg and causes pain, I am reminded of the DVT. Every day when I am unable to exercise the way I would like or eat the way I would like, I am reminded of the DVT.

2. Working. I love being an Occupational Therapist. I get such joy from helping others recover from both minor and devastating illnesses. I am grateful I have a good job that allows up to live comfortably, pays the bills and offers good benefits. I have enjoyed getting to know people around the hospital and learning all that I have learned, but I hate leaving the baby at home. Every morning I wake up early to feed her, do my hair, get dressed, eat breakfast and then sneak out the door before she totally wakes up, because when she is awake, all I want to do is be there for her and love on her all day. I hate to think that part of her schedule every day is waving goodbye to mom. I am away from my baby approximately 9-91/2 hours every day. I spend more time at the hospital than I do with her. I spend so much time away from her during the week and then to "work" again on Sunday for 2 hours chasing kids in primary, with my attention diverted away from her, is hard. I told Kam on many occasions that I feel like a full-time OT and a part-time mom. This is a very sensitive subject for me, especially when I see a lot of the girls in my ward staying home with their children, and knowing that a lot of my friends in Utah stay home as well. I look at their lives and think to myself, how lucky they are! Do they comprehend how lucky they are? I wish I had a flexible daily schedule to spend with my child, running the errands that need to be run, participating in play dates and chit chatting with friends. Working is another way I feel "left out" of the loop. I am so jealous of these girls, but at the same time am grateful they have the opportunity to be at home! I am glad they are able to be home with their children...I just wish I could be too! I also have to admit when I get home and want just a moment to myself, I feel guilty because I think Ellison's every waking moment should be spent with me after I get home from work.

3. School. I know this is so necessary in our world today. I am so grateful for my education because (not to sound cliche), but I know it's one of the only things we will take with us when we die. However, this ongoing school cycle is going to make me crazy if it doesn't end soon! In the eight years Kam and I have known each other, one or the other, or both of us have been in school. We have paid so much money in tuition and owe a pretty penny in student loans. I am glad to say that Kam only has one more year left (hallelujah!), but at times this seems like forever! I am so looking forward to the day when Kam is wearing that cap and gown, has a certificate saying he can practice law, and hears word that he has passed the bar. Come that day, I will be turning in my hunter green scrubs for blue jeans and a t-shirt.

4. Medical bills. Perhaps I should have lumped this in with number one, but I frustrated by the amount of money I pay in medical bills. Why do I have insurance? I pay the premium monthly, and then get to pay 20% of whatever after that. Just when we think we have most of them paid, another lingering bill will show up in the mail. Can you believe we got a bill last week for lab work Ellison had done when she was born? There is no reprieve in sight as we still owe the vascular surgeon for the surgery in March and will expect to rack up more when I have my surgery this fall. I will say that even though #2 on my list is a stress, it provides me with the means to pay the medical bills and the insurance to have health care.

5. Housework. I love having a clean house, but because of all the other numbers on my list (with the exception of #4), I am unable to keep it in the order I would like. Ellison does do a great job of making a mess and I really don't mind cleaning up after her, but the additional load of laundry that has come with having her is something I haven't enjoyed. I also have been unable to do the "deep clean" I am used to doing. I used to scrub tubs, toilets and dust weekly, along with the other usual household chores, however, I have gotten out of my routine and found that I am getting the house cleaned well perhaps twice a month! I feel guilty when my house is a mess and think, what could I have done better to keep it clean or clean up the already established mess.

I am grateful to have used this blog as an ear piece to my complaints. I apologize for those who are reading this. I really try hard to stay up beat, but some of these things have got me bogged down for the moment and perhaps it is due to the rough day I had. Thank you to all who have left words of encouragement before, I am grateful to you for that. I hope none of you think ill of me after having read this, but it needed to come out! I promise my other posts will be happy and cheerful! I also want to say that even though all the things I have mentioned above have been bogging me down, my little Ellie, Kam, and family brings things into perspective, and I remind myself I do it all for them. Thanks again to all my fellow bloggers!

I was told that I needed to update my blog, so here I go. Sorry it has been so long, I have finally had a few days off from work and found the motivation to update my blog. We have started out last week by taking Ellison into the doctor because she had conjunctivitis. We had to give her eye drops for a week, which has seemed for the moment to clear up the infection. We took Ellison to the doctor again on Tuesday for her 9 month follow up. He told us her head is growing, but still only in the 5th percentile, he said her length is in the 42nd percentile and she is still small on the weight side, at 16 lbs. and 6 oz. The doctor told us he isn't concerned about her being small because she is eating well, and meeting all her milestones.
Ellison is becoming more and more mobile. She is crawling so fast and so well now, and is even able to crawl up stairs. The other day, Kam made chocolate pudding and left it on the coffee table where Ellison found it and made a big, delicious, chocolaty mess! I have included pictures of the aftermath!
Work has been going well, and we are staying busy as always. I have almost 2 weekends down and only 2 more to go. Since I worked Sunday of last weekend and will be working Saturday of this weekend, I had two days off in a row, yesterday and today. Kam, Ellison and I have been having a great time hanging out. We have been able to do nothing but relax, which has been great for me. Yesterday we went for a walk and then swimming, but I seemed to come home with a sore throat. Today we are hanging out, and I am trying to be my own nurse and heal myself from the cold.
Kam has been staying busy in school and is still going on Tuesday and Thursday nights for class. Other than that, things are still going well and we are having fun watching Ellison become the big girl she is!

Is it June already? It's hard to believe that Ellison will be nine months old this month, which means, only three more months until she is actually a year old...time has sure flown by! This week Ellison seems to have reached a few milestones. She is crawling so well now, and can get from here to there so quickly, which means we have to totally baby proof the house now. Ellison, just like all babies, gets into exactly everything we don't want her getting into, and keeps us on our toes. We have rearranged some furniture to accommodate her change in mobility and keep things safer for her.
Ellison has also figured out how to pull herself up, and does so whenever she gets a stable surface. She wakes us up at night by pulling up in her crib and "talking" to us. She also likes to pull herself up on Memaw's fireplace hearth and the coffee table. She is such a cute girl!
The last "first" Ellison had this week was swimming. We took her into Kam's parents swimming pool. It was so funny because she didn't quite know what to think of the giant "bathtub" she was in. She kept this bewildered look on her face, but did seem to enjoy it as well.
Kam started school again this week. He is taking two classes this summer, pretrial and Ethics. He will also take the Ethics portion of the bar as soon as this class is over. He is gone on Tuesday and Thursday nights, giving Ellison and myself some girl time.
I am still working, just rotating now the the Trauma floor. I have to admit that I hope June flies by as quickly as May did because I am working at least one weekend day every weekend this month. Primary is also keeping us busy as always. We are planning our quarterly activity (which should be a lot of fun), for July and getting the kids ready to sing in Sacrament for Father's Day.

The Utah trip has come and gone, and unfortunately, as of today we are back to the daily grind. We flew into Salt Lake on Thursday, arriving at 11:30 pm. My little brother and his now wife, Janie, picked us up from the Airport and drove us back to his apartment. It was fun to see Salt Lake from the air, and then from the freeway, and we were able to easily see some changes that have taken place since we have moved.
We woke up early on Friday and cleaned Ryan's apartment for him, and completed small chores for him to help prepare for the wedding. We were able to get an hour or so away from chores and went to the Cheesecake factory (one of the greatest additions to the Salt Lake Valley) where I met a former co-worker (Anna) and caught up with her over lunch.
My family arrived later that afternoon and were anxious to see Ellison! We spent much of the afternoon catching up and then that evening had a family dinner with Janie's family at a church near her home. Ellison loved seeing her cousins, and basically loves any children around her same height!
The next morning was busy getting Ryan, myself and Ellison ready for the wedding. We spent time as a family and just hung out until the ceremony. Ryan got married in the Salt Lake Temple and thankfully we have such a great friend, Heather, who came to temple square and watched Ellison while we went to the ceremony. That night, Ryan and Janie had their reception at Cactus and Tropicals...such a pretty place! We had a good time seeing some old friends from Salt Lake at the reception and catching up with my dad's side of the family for a moment.
On Sunday Kam and I got together with Chad and Heather who so graciously invited us to lunch at their apartment. We had a great time visiting with them and catching up on all that they/we have missed since we moved. After lunch, Kam and I drove around the Holladay area, to see the places we used to live and work...it was fun to see how things have changed. Later that night, Kam and I drove to North Salt Lake and had dinner with a bunch of my friends I went to OT school with, it was so fun to see everyone (thanks Cailin and Val for getting things together)! It seemed that most of the people there had children around the same age, so Ellison had a great time playing with the other kids.
After dinner, Kam and I drove to Ephraim, Utah to visit Kory, Tiffini and Hailey. We were able to spend the night and visit. Ellison really enjoyed Hailey and tried to attack her (succeeding at times) and love on her. We were able to see their cute house, visit Kory at work and see some of the sights of Ephraim and Manti.
On Monday, Kam and I left Manti and drove to St. George where we attended a retirement party the school threw my mom. It was fun to visit with some of her co-workers. Throughout the rest of the week, we spent much of the time prepping for the open house at my sister's house that was held on Saturday. We were able to visit my sister a work for lunch a few times, and spent some time at the park with Shayla and her cute little boy Max.
On Saturday we had the open house, the weather mostly complied, and we had only a little bit of rain at the very end of the night. It was great to see some old friends from St. George, and I was really excited to see Chelsa and catch up with her. On Sunday we mostly hung out and relaxed at my mom's house, as we were all tired from the weeks activities. Early yesterday morning we woke up, drove to Vegas and flew back to Jackson.
We had a really great time in Utah and were glad we were able to visit, but are also glad to be home. We can't wait until the next opportunity to visit!

I can't believe I am celebrating my first Mother's Day! I hardly seem old enough to take care of myself, let alone another human being! I had to work this Mother's day while Kam and his mom spoke in church. I heard they did a great job. Kam and some other Elders were also sweet enough to take over primary so my teachers and counselors could attend Relief Society. When I got home from work, Kam had the house cleaned, flowers on the table and a gift from Ellison as well as him. I got a necklace, a homemade card and a portable DVD player for our upcoming trip to Utah (we leave on Thursday...yahoo)! I was so excited about these gifts...the house cleaning more than anything! We went to Kam's mom's house and had dinner with the family and gave Kam's mom and Kallee a gift basket full of chocolate...I think secretly we wished we would have kept some of it! We also gave Kam's mom a card from us, and one from Ellison, complete with her hand print. Even though I had to work on my first Mother's Day, it was a positive memorable Day.
I remember last Mother's Day, (I worked) I was talking with a co-worker who was telling me all about the gifts she received for Mother's Day, including home made cards. I was pregnant with Ellison and remember thinking how much I wished she were already here...365 days later, here she is and eight months old already! Ellison has made me realize how much I appreciate my own mother and how much she has done for our family. I don't know if I know a stronger woman than her. She has cared for her family both physically and emotionally. She had dealt with all the illness in our family, and for the most part was the strength to get the rest of us through it. She diligently went to work everyday, wishing she could be home with her babies, but knowing this was something she had to do to take care of the family (something I can also relate to). She has helped so many other people, and I have been told time and time again how much she means to other people, and I know that she means that much more to me. I can only hope that I become a mother to Ellison like my mother has become to me.
Kam says about his mom:
She has always supported me in my dreams and ideas...no matter how crazy. She fixes the best food and is always willing to do whatever it takes to make her family happy. She is always concerned about other people and wants everyone to be happy. She loves her children and grandchildren so much, she spends time away from dad to be with them. She is always willing to help out, and a lot of times doesn't have to be asked, but volunteers. She is fun loving, happy and supportive and I am glad she is my mother.
I hope everyone else had a great mothers day as well, whether you were celebrating it for yourself or for your mother!
P.S. I won't be posting again until we get back from Utah, so check back later!

This past week has seemed to go by fast and slow all at the same time. Kam had two finals earlier this week, and spent the rest of the week studying for the three more he has this coming week. Work has been busy as well, we have had a few other therapists out, so we have had over 12 patients each. For all my therapy buddies, you know how difficult it can be deciding who gets therapy and who doesn't.
Ellison has been busy as well, she is still trying to get the crawling thing down, but still hasn't fine tuned working her arms and legs together. She is so happy and such a good baby. We went out shopping on Saturday (just she and I), and I got stopped 6 times by people telling me how cute she is! Her Grandma, affectionately known as Mema, bought her a walker this week, so she has had fun enjoying that! She has also learned a new trick, every time we try to sit her on the ground, she straightens her legs to prevent this. She has a new found love for standing and will hold on to the back of something (couch, church bench, etc) to support herself while she stands. She gives the ward members quite a show when she does this!
On Saturday we took Ellison for a ride in the bike trailer, and took some cute, fun pictures which I have posted here. We also spent time at Kohl's, Old Navy, Belk (equivalent to Dillards or Meier and Frank), and Ross. I have been on the hunt for a new dress for Ryan's wedding. I looked all through Kohl's and couldn't find a thing, went to Old Navy...same thing. Everything at Belk was too expensive, and I finally found 5 dresses at Ross. I called Kam and told him I couldn't decide which dress to get, so he told me to buy all 5, (which I did) and then we would decide as soon as I got home. So last night, we took back the other dresses I didn't need! It has been so long since I have gone shopping for myself...way before I was pregnant! Anyhow, long story short, I have a dress for Ryan's wedding, Ellison is set with a dress for the wedding and Kam refuses to look for any type of clothing that is related to anything church like...come to think of it, any clothing altogether!
We are busy getting things together for our trip to Utah, and trying to get Kam through this next week until finals are over! Wish us luck!